After so much things had happened , I think that I have never grown up this past few years .
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Humph , been nort posting my blog up for a period of time and I have to say to all my friends that I am Sorry that I dint post my blog . Friendship , Relationship and Family Problem have takes turn to come and knock the door of mine . I couldnt take it but what can I do expect learn to take in a little by little . I also dontknow what to do when I heard that Grandma had landed into hospital but the mind of mine has just went blank and tears has just dropped down . Been asking myself why cant I treat her more good or dont always find her nagging and all staff ? Till she landed into hospital , I would started to treat her good . Arent , I a bad grand daughter ? So much things happened and really makes me so tired as I gort to run to many places . Monday-Friday I gort to go school and after school I gort to go hospital and visit grandma . Friday , I still gort to go down to Bukit Panjang to wait for Daniel and sometime I have to ton with my girlfriends . Saturaday& Sunday sometime still need to go down and see grandma . I really doesnt know what to do and yet I needed him the most but he still choose to leave me alone by myself . Went drinking , with Girlfriends and Riken&frens . But has anyone asked me why does I drink ? I realised that Nobody seen to understanding me . All they could do was just comment and comment .
Greatest apologise to all my Girlfriends ! Sorry been making you girls so worry and so sometimes would kick a fuss to you girls but you girls would always forgive me . Making myself like this wasnt something that I want but trust me after sometime everything is going to be okays . You guys , could never compare to Daniel but thanks alot for being with me when I needed someone and the shoulders you guys always gave me . I LOVE YOU GIRLS !
When could be we be like just the past ? All I want was your forgiveness .
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Recently we have been the same . No matter how many messgae that I text you and so you wouldnt give me a reply . That day , I went down to look for you at your place . I prepared alot of things for you and yet I doesnt have a chance to meet up with you . I know that you are angry with me but I doesnt know what you are angry about , is it because that I always do things that make you dislike or make you worry . Days after days and yet I am still carrying alittle hope from you that you would reply my message . Its been so LONG le . I waited for you that day around 4-5 hours and yet you dint came because you say you were outside drinking with your friends but I am worry , worry that Girlls may gert close with you . Worry that you may gert close with that girl again . I doesnt know what to do but I know that I shouldnt give up on you . As the 2 years pledge is still there ! Humph , I would be going down every Friday till the day you forgive me . I know I shouldnt always be like this but I know that I CANT sit down there waiting for you to forgive me and who knows is going to take how long ? 1 months or 1 years ? . Yet , all I can do was just saying SORRY ! That day was insulted by a friend of mine , I wanted to tell you but I just doesnt know how to start it . Went drinking for those 2 days , yet ended up falling ill . Was feeling damn uncomfortable and yet you wasnt by myside even I told you that I am really ill and you dont even bother to reply me . I feel that I am alone and nobodys cares for me . Daniel , how long are you going to ignore me ? I really doesnt know what I should do and so you would forgive me .
Did I did something wrong ?! Why are you treating me again like this ?
Monday, January 11, 2010
I am willing to do anything as long as you are willing to forgive me or talk with me again . . . Because is really hard to make my days without you , do you know that ?!! . . Why must it be you Daniel.T.H
Happiness doesnt really last long because things turn out in another way between us . I think I may have done something wrong and thats why he is angry with me or ignoring me . Have some problem with him and each time we quarrel , I would always go out walking alone a night and he told me dun contact liao everytime something happened to us I would always be like this so dun contact liao . Thats the last message that I received from him . Its been almost 2 days that he dint reply my message le . Just whats going wrong ? If its because I always go out whenever I quarrel with him , I promise that I wouldnt do it again and I would change but could you just stop ignoring me or dont reply my message . I really doesnt know what am I going to do but I only know that all I could do was just message you everyday . Wasnt feeling very well and yet so much things happened ! I really doesnt know what I am going to do ! How I wish that I could hid to a place where nobody could find me and so I could be really alone to have a good think whether what I should do . Been smoking and smoking ! Could anyone teach me what to do and so he could talk to me again ! I could only cry and cry and thats what I am always been doing for the past 2 days . Broken hearts only could be mend by you , I doesnt need any apologise but just the respond of your msg or even a hug that is from you . I wanted you so much and I do know that I do need you alot alot more den my friends . Could you just forgive me once and I promise you that I would change and I would never make you angry , worry or do things that make you dislike .
Many people think that I am very silly . I go for someone which I am going to waste my time on him because he may nort even want me back 2 years later . I cried because he hurts me , ignore me or even angry with me but at least I know he do cares for me . People asked me to go find new guy but ii just doesnt know why I wanted him so much . Whether wad happend in the future even he doesnt want me anymore I would take it because he is the one who ii wants and ii am willing to workhard . Could BOYFREN forgive me just once . PLEASE and I am really SORRY !
Sometimes your words really broke the heart of mine but yet at least I could really know what you are thinking and how you really feel for me
Monday, January 4, 2010
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Feelings sometime really confuse . I doesnt know whether am I one-sided love anort . Sometimes we woud quarrel , Sometimes you would ignore me , Sometimes you would keep things in your heart and Sometimes you doesnt want to tell me your feeling . Dearest , always been making me very worry and I thought I would always be the one who is worry about you . But things wasnt like this , you doesnt want to be back with me because you worry that I may gert close with other guys or people in ITE .Things change as you are now serving your NationalService and I know that you could only accompany me 2 days sometime you even need to accompany your friends or family . Yes , is true that getting into ITE I may know alot alot of people inside but trust me I am nort interested in those people . If you cant put your trust in me seriously I can dont study ! I do need you alot as I told you . I am willing to workhard as I wanted you back and I just wish that you could see those changes that I make while time pass . I wanted you back so that I am willing to WorkHard for 2 years if 2 years time later you still doesnt like the way I am is okay den . I just hope that I could be the one who is always there for you and I hope that you could share with me your everything . Sometimes those thing you say really hurts me but I know what you are thinking and seriously I am really happy about it . Thanks alot ! My dearest BOYFRIEND , you own me SUNFLOWER uhs !!
Feelings are really different without my dearest Girlfriend .
Getting into Simei ITE , it maybe the school that I wanted and the course that I choose out on the 10 choices I manage to gert in one of them uhs . But things do change uhs . Girlfriend SHANEL dint manage to gert into the same school as me and seriously , I doesnt feel good about it . Tears drop down when she told me that the school she gert into and the first thing that I asked her to do was to go for appeal . Hopefully , she can gert into the same school as me because I really wish that t happened ! Humph , I pray hard that she can gert into my school even we dint manage to gert into the same course ! Friendship between would never change even thought we gert into a differen school . Never lost contact uhs ! Today is my First day in school . Everything is good and I do make friends . But den is kind of bored uhs !! Girlfriend !! I miss you !!
I am nort the way as what you think perhaps I need you more den what you think .
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Sometimes I really feel that we are very far far away and I would always been waiting for the day for you to book out and so I could meet you up . A week we have 7 days , you would be inside for 5 days while I would be outside for the 5 days without you or sometimes it would be 7 days which means the whole week I would never have a chance to meet up with you . You think that I may really doesnt need you anymore because this 5 days while you are inside and I am outside with my friends and whoever but let me tell you this , I have been always talking about you infront of them . Yet , you really think that I doesnt need you . I could only tell you my everything ! Yes , I have my Girlfriends with me but there are things wasnt that easy to be say out infront of them ! We were suppose to meet up today and do you know that I was really very Happy and waiting for the time to arrive fast so that I could see you but you told me that you couldnt meet up with me because you are at your friend's place playing majhong ?! Ahas ! I doesnt know what could I still send and so I say Ohokays . Am I really a FOOL ? A STUPID FOOL ? A FOOL THAT COULD ONLY BE PLAY BY YOU ! Seriously , I doesnt know whats on your mind ? You are always keeping things from me and each time I would really hope that you could just share alittle with me but you never will and all I could do was just to wait . Daniel , July is always here waiting for the day and waiting for you . Thats whats really on my mind and thats what I just wanted to tell you . ILY(:
Happy New Year !
Went out to eat Steamboat with my Girlfriends and Boy-friends ! Headed down to eastcoast by Bus and den went down tothe arcade den damn it ! There is alot alot of people down there . . After acrade den went to the steamboat place ! Meet up with Peiling and Zhihao at the place also . . . . Humph , after that Boy-friends they all arrived ! ZhanYang , Haiping , Eugenn , AhXiong , Zhibin and Jenette ! Ate and ate alot ! The STUPID JAMIE keep eating the food that I BBq ! AHAS ! Nevernmind , she hungry ghost just kena let OUT ! LMAO ! humph , den started to spray those snow things and damn it ! I kena alot !! Humph ! Count down le ! 5 ,4 , 3 , 2 , 1 ! Headed to the beach after the meal and den walked seperate way with eugenn they all ! Saw Zhikai and Jiaqing they all and den requested them to send me and sep home first to gert change first because we went to play water ! THAT SEP UHS !! After sending us back to EastCoast , Zhikai and Jiaqing headed back home to rest uhs !
Slacked with Girlfren they all and den Alvin;Daddy came over to find us ! Quarrel with Daddy but everything is okay now le . Happy New Yaer EVERYBODY !
