What the fuck is wrong again ? Why does I feel that we have been quarrling recently ? Ahas ! I bet you must say , it was me who started again ? Correct it was always me and never be you even once ! Just find it so funny ? You been busy working the whole day and didn't you thought of meeting up with me ? Why is it seen like it's me who always be the one to suggest that whether are we gonna meet up ? Even going out for a date , I also got to decide where are we going to ? It's always me and me ! Just feel so fed up ! Fine if you think that I am petty to get angry over a small thing then I would just not give a damn because I doesn't think that I am in any fault either . I am nort going to bow down and admit ! Seriously , I really feel so sick larhs ! So sick that we always been quarrling ! Damn it ! Am I really in a relationship ? :(

I doesn't know how to start with but yet there is alot of things that been keeping inside my heart and yet I just doesn't know how to tell you . Actually , I have been very unhappy recently . Maybe I am asking much but I really wanted those thing again maybe should I say I want it as long as we are still together . Same thing I wanna say , I wanna those laughter , fun and love with you . Everything change or just time that we couldn't make arrangment with it . That day , when I woke up in the morning you are already out to work . Friends of mine been saying " it's a good thing that he work because he wanna to earn more money ". Seriously , I agree it too . I know that money can help us to have alot of things so in order to have alot of money we got to work for it . Then I was lying on the bed of yours been thinking that what can I do to let time pass fast .. At the time , Sep and Eric is awake and done preparing to go out . My first question was , " Meeting tonight for dinner ? They replied " Yes , we meet you up later and eddie to go bugis to exchange those stickers . I replied " Okay , where are you all going ? " Sep said " Going to SPCA " . True enough , I am jealous because they managed to go out for a date . Where's mine ? I been waiting for so long and he is been busy working . Feel like crying because I miss my old days with you . Rememeber I asked you that day whether are the both of us still okay ? You think that we are but just sometimes I my mood went emo , bad , swing or whatsoever . Period ? I don't think so . I told Sep that what the problem is . He got to work 7 days no OFF actually there is a off day on Sunday but he didn't as he wants to OT for double paid . Both of our boyf-riend is working yours got 2 day off and my ? What' more he OT on weekend , do you know how much I always look forward for weekend ? I promised him to be his a good girl as not complaining about his OT staff . I tried my very best but I just can't . I just feel that he couldn't manage his time well and started to neglect me . I really tried ! Last night , we went Malaysia and I told Sep that I miss my old days which I went clubbing and drinking . She say she miss her old days too . As we both got to stay at home when our boyf-riend is out working and sometimes meeting up with girlf-riend when they are free . I told her that eddie is off tomorrow but we aren't going anywhere to have dates but going to his hospital appointment , repairing of bike , renew a new passion card and meeting up with Gugu they all to make the insurance staff . That's gonna be our day for tomorrow . Disappointment for me but as least we are still together I am happy . I change , I quit smoking , my club , my drinking and those outing with those male friend then what about him ? He change ? The goal of his life making lots of money . I feel tired because been crying and crying for the same problem , he is been too busy . Last night , I was in his arm and I cried . I guess he was too tired and he fall to sleep quite fast . Touches his forehead and face , I asked him and myself . How long more can we still go on ? I know that breakups is always I who raised up and you told me that if one day I am gonna ask for a breakup again , you wouldn't felt sad because you have been used to it as I have been asking for breakup for times . Sorry but each time when I asked for breakups I do have my reason and you know it too . Can we still go on ? I am afraid because I started to feel tired .